Monday, September 03, 2007

Dangerous element

Hazardous Material Information Sheet
Material Safety Data Sheet
Women - A Chemical Analysis

Element: Women
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40 - 200kg
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all Urban Area.

Physical Properties
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without any known reason
3. Melt if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places

Chemical Properties
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and other precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common Uses
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be great-aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

Hazards
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

Data results discovered from the School of Mechancial Engineering of UNSW

Related posts:
Dangerous women
Why I love women


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hilarious!

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