Sunday, January 11, 2009

FAQ about women

I know this FAQ has a high chance of pissing off at least 50% of the population. But remember, being offended is not a condition that is imposed on you. It is a choice you make. So without further ado...

Q: How can a woman tell if she is flat chested?
A: She look down her dress and the two bumps she see are her knees.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q: Why can't you trust woman?
A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
A: Money.

Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q: How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What does aeroplanes and women have in common?
A: Both have cockpits.

Q: What is an Australian kiss?
A: It is the same as a French kiss but only down under.

Q: Why do women like old gynaecologist?
A: Because they shake uncontrollably.

Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
A: When she have to chew before swallowing it.


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