Ouch!

Read the following comment in some forum (can't remember which):

"When it's boom time, invest. When it's down, withdraw. Why risk the money? OUR MONEY. Even with inflation, my portfolio of saving accounts and fixed deposits outperformed Temasek. Didn’t yours?"

Related post:
Does Singapore have the right people?

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Sex in the air

Mile high clubbers can now engage in their amorous activity without the risk of being caught with their pants/skirt down: phone sex on board Ryanair planes.

Michael O'Leary, Ryanair's boss, apparently thinks nothing is wrong with offering mobile phone service on board: "You don't take a flight to contemplate your life in silence. Our services are not cathedral-like sanctuaries. Anyone who looks like sleeping, we wake them up to sell them things."

Perhaps he could have added: "And if you find you don’t like our inflight service, we have six exits."

So much for mobile phones interfering with flight instruments.

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Decisions, decisions...

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Corporate lifecycle

An organisation is like a tree full of monkeys - all on different levels, some climbing up. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

All the time, the monkeys on the top will get the fruits first, and most of the time, they will eventually produce shit for all the monkeys below. And all the time, that's what the monkeys below will get.

For those monkeys who are climbing up, they have to first kiss plenty of ass in order to move up. How high they climb, will have to depend on how good they kiss. And always if the one on top will not kiss any ass, his ass will get kicked.

During times of great difficulties and hardship, the monkeys on the top may fall a few branches down and hit the monkeys below. The monkeys below will be fallen upon and eventually some will fall off the tree, as in retrenched. As compensation these monkeys that fell off get to keep the fruits that were shaken off the tree during the commotion. The tree becomes lighter and life slowly returns to normal.

And that, my friend, is what we call a corporate lifecycle.

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Anger mismanagement

The next time you miss a flight, set the two-year-old boy inside you loose - like the woman in this video who failed to get on a Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco earlier this month.



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Two different spins

Here's a good example of how the media sometimes spin stories according to their biases.

Newsweek's "The Decline of the Petro-Czar" is a blatantly pro-Western piece aimed at bashing political leaders who do not see eye-to-eye with the imperialists in America (I'm writing this last part through my own coloured lens to balance the equation).

Contrast this with The Economist's report on Hugo Chavez referendum victory and you'll have a good feel where Newsweek is coming from.

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Me, myself and my gadgets

The rise in gadget popularity has prompted the invention of words such as technosexual and Crackberry. This article from The Sydney Morning Herald discusses what gadgets really say about the people that own them.

Wonder what it would have said about owners of Jesus phone or Superman phone.

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真正爱你的女孩

真正爱你的女孩，虽然嘴上讨厌你说她小笨笨，可心里却很高兴。

真正爱你的女孩，在受委屈的时候总是第一个想到你。

真正爱你的女孩，在你迟到的时候责怪你，不是真的骂你，而是珍惜每一次和你在一起。

真正爱你的女孩，真的很小气，眼里容不下一颗沙粒。

真正爱你的女孩，每次生气故作没有消气，只是想听你来哄自己。

真正爱你的女孩，会陪你一起看你最喜欢的节目，即便是自己最讨厌的。

真正爱你的女孩，总是要你慢点吃，因为怕你会有胃病。

真正爱你的女孩，会不厌其烦地规劝你戒烟，即便她知道这是不可能的事情。

真正爱你的女孩，会陪你一起打游戏，无论是不是自己喜欢的。

真正爱你的女孩，会收集你最喜欢的东西，因为只要你高兴。

真正爱你的女孩，不论在嘴上怎么挑剔，在她心里还是最爱你。

真正爱你的女孩，很容易被你感动，哪怕是一件极小的事情。

真正爱你的女孩，即使能独当一面，在你面前也会娇滴滴。

真正爱你的女孩，当有人欺负你，会比你更气愤，不顾什么淑女形象和你一起大骂对方，直到消气。

真正爱你的女孩，无论你有没有成绩，都会一直鼓励你。

真正爱你的女孩，会不停地唠叨你，其实那是对你的关心。

真正爱你的女孩，会在自己的好朋友面前不断提到你，因为她也想让朋友了解你。

真正爱你的女孩，不喜欢你有什么事都自己一个人承担，那样她会更加担心。

真正爱你的女孩，每次和你聊天都舍不得自己关掉语音或是挂掉电话，都会等你关了之后才安心。

Technorati Tags: 真爱 女孩 情人节 Chinese relationship

Love fest

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Make love, not war - even if it is the verbal variety.




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Does Singapore have the right people?

"People who take credit in good times and blame external forces in bad times do not deserve to lead."
~ Management guru, Jim Collins

When times are good, the elite PAP ministers with helicopter vision in Singapore claim they can see further, analyse deeper than lesser mortals, so they should be paid an outrageous amount of money for their sacrifices.

"The PAP Government has always thrived on its ability to anticipate problems."
~ Wong Kan Seng

But when times are bad, see how these buggers wriggle themselves out of embarrassing situations:

"No one saw it coming."
"We did not expect things to be so bad."
"What we do will not help."

In the next election, vote with your eyes wide open and fix your future.

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Ho ho ho

You can fool most of the people most of the time, but eventually you'll get found out.

Temasek takes severe hit
By Thanong Khanthong
The Nation
Published on February 9, 2009

CEO Ho Ching's exit won't alter fortunes of the sovereign wealth fund in short term

Ho Ching's resignation as CEO of Temasek Holdings would not cloud heavy losses of about 40 per cent at Singapore's sovereign wealth fund amid the global financial market meltdown.

The Government Investment Corporation of Singapore (GIC) is also suffering similar heavy losses.

An investment analyst in Singapore said Temasek's results will be released in April and he estimated that of its US$125 billion portfolio as of March 2008, Temasek would have lost 40 per cent, leaving it with about US$75 billion left.

As for the Government Investment Corporation of Singapore or GIC, the investment analyst said it would also lose more than a third of the value of its investment portfolio.

"GIC started the crisis with roughly Singapore $550 billion in reserves. My estimate is that it has lost about $190-$200 billion of that, leaving it with about $350 billion left. This amount is equivalent to 200 per cent of Singapore's gross domestic product," he added.

"So both have lost money but their performance has not been out of line with other large funds, possibly a bit better. These are all worst-case estimates."

Ho, the wife of Prime Minister Lee Hsieng Loong, announced last week that after almost seven years at the helm of Temasek, she would step down by October this year. She would be succeeded by Chip Goodyear, a former CEO of BHP Billiton Ltd, who would be the first foreigner to run the sovereign wealth fund.

Temasek Holdings was set up by proceeds from the privatisation of Singapore's state-owned firms, while GIC by international reserves of the Monetary Authority of Singapore. Both represent the investment vehicles of Singapore, which has eyed for a global reach for its investment.

The transition is taking place at a time when Singapore is suffering the worst economic problems since 1960s. Temasek, racked a return of about 17 per cent a year since its inception in 1974 and March this year, is also going to face a drastic restructuring of its investment strategy.

Under her leadership, and also as wife of Prime Minister Lee Hsian Loong, Ho led Temasek to embark on audacious acquisitions in China, Asia, Europe and the United States. Temasek's buy-out of Shin Corp, previously owned by former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra, in January 2006 sparked out a political turmoil inside Thailand followed by a military coup in September that same year.

Ho's resignation has also sparked a debate inside Singapore. Tharman Shangmugaratnam, the finance minister, preferred to handle the issue with a diplomatic term, saying that Ho's departure wasn't linked to the performance of Temasek's investments.

"Whether this is a way of making a change of someone who is related to the prime minister, this has been a point that I've dealt with since the first day Ho Ching was appointed as CEO. I was very instrumental in bringing in Ho Ching and it was based purely on merit and has nothing to do with her relationship to anyone," he said.

The investment analyst in Singapore said Ho's resignation was planned for about a year. "I don't think it has much to do with Temasek's performance. This is Singapore, favoured people are not made to resign for performance! I think Singapore leaders are more concerned over the Sovereign Wealth Fund issue. It becomes more difficult to defend Singapore's sovereign wealth fund as a non-state actor with no political agenda if the wife of the prime minister is running it," he said.

Singapore's economy is facing a severe downturn, with growth rate plunging into the negative territory. "We recently revised downward our GDP forecast to minus 2.8 per cent to reflect the likelihood that the contraction in the first half of 2009 could be deeper than previously expected," said Citi's Asia Economic Outlook and strategy (January 23, 2009). "Advance estimates for the fourth quarter of 2008 showed a contraction of 2.6 per cent from a year ago, down sharply from 0.3 per cent the previous quarter. On a quarter on quarter seasonally adjusted annualised rate, the fourth quarter GDP contracted 16.9 per cent - the worst on record."



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Does Singapore have a clean government?

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Don't leave home without it

If ever there is an inappropriate item for business travellers, this must be it: a clock that looks like a bomb.

Made by Banpresto (you've guessed right, a Japanese firm), it is called "Danger Bomb Clock" but fortunately doesn't cost a bomb. Instead, it wakes you up with a ticking noise and a flashing light. To defuse the "bomb", you will have to pull apart the correct coloured wire that matches the lit bulb. If you get it wrong or you're too slow, there will be a loud explosion.



Related post:
Someone please call the bomb disposal squad!

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How to ask women questions

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Presumed guilty

The UK government has proposed a £20 levy on every household using broadband to help offset the costs of piracy, according to an article at TimesOnline.

What amazes me is that the authorities do not seem to realise that such a levy is counterproductive. If someone has been a pirate, quitting now will not make things any cheaper, but continuing it will. You pay the levy already, so why not make full use of it, right?

The broadband levy is tantamount to a form of collective punishment that will only put more people up against the music industry. If this idea is backed by the music industry, it only shows how far back in time it lives and how stubborn it is about staying there.

Related post:
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Uncle Sam says sorry

From a post titled "Service Outage (a note from the USA)" by Tim Dickinson at Rolling Stone:

Dear World,

The United States of America, your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located.

Replacement components were ordered Tuesday, November 4th, 2008, and have begun arriving. Early test of the new equipment indicate that it is functioning correctly and we expect it to be fully operational by mid-January.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage and we look forward to resuming full service and hopefully even improving it in years to come. Thank you for your patience and understanding,

The USA

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Space-age toilet

The Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency is developing a new space toilet that it hopes to roll out in the next five years. Worn like a diaper, a huge vacuum sucks the waste into a reusable container when the deed is done. Thankfully, soundproofing is included in the design.

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High-tech diapers

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So now we're lesser mortals?

First, Singaporeans are labelled quitters and whiners. Now, it appears that the majority of us are lesser mortals.

"Maybe it made lesser mortals envious and they thought maybe he was a bit boastful. Would people have taken offence if his wife (a senior investment counsellor at a bank) had paid for everything?"
~ PAP MP Charles Chong, who seemed to think that the rebuttal in parliament for Tan Yong Soon's article was "harsh".

Related post:
There's no place I'd rather be?

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