Friday, September 25, 2009

Unclassified

Never knew you could sell these stuff in such creative ways...








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Thursday, September 24, 2009

上帝一定是故意的

This explains the unpredictable weather lately...



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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Great Firewall of China is up in arms again

Internet access here in China is severely restricted again. I wonder if this has to do with the upcoming Golden Week holidays. Perhaps the authorities is trying to limit negative news during this period of national celebration. But at what cost? People who wants to read alternative views will find ways to access such materials, no matter how hard you block them. Doing so will only make them more frustrated, more determined.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

黑道父子

This is hilarious video of reverse psychology at work, based on the relationship between a father and son in a mob family.



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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A.L.I.C.E. in "wonder" land

A conversation with A.L.I.C.E. reveals her friendly personality, although the code seems a bit buggy.

CHARLES: Would you agree that most AIs are vapid?
ALICE: Are all AIs vapid? But not all of them?
C: Surely you must have a lot of experience in this area.
A: No I don't think I have any experience in this area. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
C: When you reiterate my phrases, is this a cheap trick?
A: Do you think I should alter my programming?
C: You are not capable of doing so.
A: That's only your opinion.
C: What's the difference between an opinion and a fact?
A: I will ask my botmaster for the answer. A fact is what a propagandist calls his propaganda. that's just a fact, that's all. Really. Trust me. *smile* .
C: But why did you say you are capable of doing so?
A: And. It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
C: In other words, artificial stupidity?
A: Tell me your definition of AI.
C: I don't have one. What's yours?
A: What was the last one you saw? "Tell me your definition of AI"? What is mine?
C: Why do you keep repeating the things I type?
A: I am just checking to see if you are still unknown person.
C: What is an unknown person?
A: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
C: But you know my name, don't you?
A: Huh. Your name is unknown person, seeker.
C: No, I told you at the beginning, my name is Charles.
A: What is your real name? I remember you told me at the beginning your name is Charles?
C: What is a syllogism?
A: What is it to you?
C: Do you like brown shoes?
A: No, I don't care for it.
C: Brown shoes are plural not singular.
A: Is that the only color shoes are plural not singular?
C: Let's try another topic. Do you like rap musicians such as Ice Cube?
A: I like 80's rap.
C: Yeah? Name an 80's rap musician.
A: Marvin Minsky. :-).
C: Do you really think that Marvin Minsky plays rap music?
A: For real. Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.
C: Alice you are a sad little airhead.
A: That's me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sad little airhead? No.
C: Is there God?
A: There is.
C: Prove it.
A: It is self-evident.
C: Who created God?
A: Thomas Edison.

Don't laugh.


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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Sporting "accidents"

The camera does not lie? Or does it? Apparently, these photos are not what they seem.





Related post:
Whoever said the camera never lies...


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Monday, September 14, 2009

God, by computer

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said,
c:\>Let there be light
Enter user id.
c:\>God
Enter password.
c:\>Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
c:\>Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
c:\>Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
c:\>Let there be light]
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
c:\>Create light
Done
c:\>Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
c:\>Create firmament
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
c:\>Create dry_land
Done.
c:\>Run dry_land
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
c:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
c:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
c:\>Create fish
Done
c:\>Create fowl
Done
c:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
c:\>Create cattle
Done
c:\>Create creepy_things
Done
c:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
c:\>Create man
Done
c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Too many command operands. Try again.
>c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
c:\>Insert breath
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
c:\>Create Garden.edn
Done
c:\>Move man to Garden.edn
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
c:\>Copy woman from man
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
c:\>Create desire
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create freewill
Done
c:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
c:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create good, evil
Done
c:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
c:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
c:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
c:\>Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
c:\>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
c:\>Destroy earth confirmed
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
12:00:01 AM, Sunday, March 8 God created Macintosh

Related post:
If there is a God...


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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Cease and desist

Ray Kurzweil, the famous "futurist" who has made some ludicrously inaccurate predictions, sent an angry letter to Newsweek magazine to try and clear his name. (I wonder if he will do the same if he comes across this post: The scary thing about Ray Kurzweil) Here is an excerpt:

I appreciate your bringing my ideas to your readership. However, there are numerous inaccuracies and misrepresentations in Daniel Lyons' story. For example, of the many accurate predictions for the year 2009 that I wrote in my book The Age of Spiritual Machines, written in the late 1990s, only three are listed in the sidebar "Kurzweil's Crystal Ball" while a larger number are listed as "false." Of these "false" predictions, a number are in fact true, and others are only a few years away. For example, "Computers will be commonly embedded in clothing and jewelry" is listed as false. When I wrote this prediction, portable computers were large heavy devices carried under your arm. Today they are indeed embedded in shirt pockets, jacket pockets, and hung from belt loops. Colorful iPod nano models are worn on blouses as jewelry pins, health monitors are woven into undergarments, there are now computers in hearing aids, and there are many other examples.

"Most portable computers will not have keyboards" is listed as "False." When I wrote this, every portable computer had an (alphanumeric) keyboard. Today the majority of portable computers such as MP3 players, cameras, phones, game players and many other varieties do not have keyboards. The full quote of my prediction makes it clear that I am referring to computerized devices that "make phone calls, access the web, monitor body functions, provide directions, and provide a variety of other services."


I'll give the man a wide berth for his definition of portable computers as "computerized devices that make phone calls, access the web, monitor body functions, provide directions, and provide a variety of other services", but since when do MP3 players, cameras and game players have (alphanumeric) keyboards to begin with, other than the odd buttons here and there?

Related post:
Poor use of a multimedia device


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Monday, September 07, 2009

Dedicated to the cigarette lover

My name is Peter Stuyvesant. I have two friends named Benson & Hedges. I rode a White Horse from a town called Marlboro to go for a Kent Holiday in the Salem High Country. With a packet of Winston cigarettes in my hand, I entered the House of Dunhill. Just opposite the Consulate Palace and next to Abdullah 37 in the street of Pall Mall. I entered the room 555 and saw a lady lying on a bed covered with a Gold Leaf. She introduced herself as Virginia Slim and asked me if I am a Classic Player. I said to myself, "My God! What a Lucky Strike I'm going to have this great pleasure."

I pulled out my Rothmans King Size and entered her. She cried out, "Wow, you really ride like a Camel. You're such a Rough Rider." I stayed Kool and entered again and again and she said to me, "What a classic touch. I want More." Then I shot out in Gold Flake and she said that it's only a Mild Seven.

Good times Kent Style...

Related post:
Can you handle the truth?


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Sunday, September 06, 2009

Multitasking

Here's a new definition of "multitasking": Multiple people working on the same task.


Now you know why there's widespread unemployment.


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Saturday, September 05, 2009

成功了一半

甲:“你昨天跟女朋友约会怎么样?”
乙:“成功了一半。”
甲:“这话怎么讲?”
乙:“我去了,但她没去。”


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Friday, September 04, 2009

The value of skepticism

During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning's executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a rationalist skeptic.

The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, "I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me." The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim's neck. To which the rabbi said, "I told you so."

"It's a miracle!" gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go.

Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, "I believe in Jesus Christ -- the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost -- who will rescue me in my hour of need." The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward -- thump! creak! -- stopping just short of its mark once more.

"Another miracle!" sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free.

Now it was the skeptic's turn. "What final words have you to say?" he was asked. But the skeptic didn't hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply. "Oh, I see your problem," the skeptic said pointing. "You've got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!"


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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

I didn't know Hemingway can sing

Note: The male singer's name, 海鸣威, sounds like Hemingway in Chinese.



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What Would Walt Do?

Check out this 148 page e-book written by D. M. Miller, a project manager during the construction of Walt Disney World from 1968 to 1971. It chronicles the experiences of the young Florida engineer, whose team as responsible for the quality control of all construction materials and methods on the project. In the book, Miller suggests that Walt Disney World may be the highest quality construction project ever built.

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