Tuesday, June 15, 2010

老婆使用說明書

【品名】民間俗稱老婆,正式場合可稱妻子或夫人; 古稱內人,現亦可叫愛人。
【成分】水、血液、脂肪、碳水化合物。
【性狀】本品為細長條塊狀化糖衣片,表面塗層一般為粉底、口紅等化妝物,除去後呈淺黃色,外觀與除去前略有差異; 本品隨時間推移,形狀會有所改變,出現發胖、起皺等現象,但不影響繼續使用。
【功能主治】主治單身恐懼症及傳宗接代等頑疾,對失戀和相思病也有明顯效果。
【用法用量】口服兼外用,一次限一片。對無效者,可暫停使用並向婚姻專家咨詢,或間隔一段時間後重複使用。
【注意事項】本品僅使用於單身之成年男性。服用時需小心謹慎,細心觀察有無不良反應,如有,必須馬上停止服用,沒有則可繼續使用。若忌煙酒等不良習慣,會使療效更佳。
【規格】通常為45千克至55千克,特殊情況下亦有例外。
【儲藏】常溫下妥善保存,室內陰涼處最佳; 如在室外,則需避免強烈陽光直射。儲藏期間,尤忌隨意棄置一旁不管。
【包裝】各種纖維類時尚衣飾,並隨季節變化隨時更換。
【有效期】視滿意程度而定,最長可達一生; 最短,三兩天也可能失效。
【批准文號】正式批准文號見結婚證書內頁。
【生產企業】岳父岳母。

【特別提示】
一、未婚男性請在服用前仔細閱讀本說明書並按說明書規定或在婚姻專家指導下使用。
二、對本品過敏者忌用。
三、正在服用其他類似藥物且尚未停用者禁用。
四、本品為非處方類藥物,但在登記購買前需出示若乾有效證件。
五、請將本藥品放在兒童不能接觸到的地方。

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