What I really want from Apple is...

...wireless charging of the iPad.

If the [insert your own joke here] is really a magical piece of glass as claimed by Jonathan Ive, Apple should have encased it with a solar panel instead of an aluminum cover.

The designers took pains to explain that "a slight curve to the back makes it easy to pick up and comfortable to hold". Well, if I need curves, I know where to lay my hands on.

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How the Apple iPad came about

Replace the logo, give it a marketing tweak, get someone to wear a turtleneck on stage to announce it...

And voila, the Apple iPad!

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iAnything
Apple's new product - the iRack

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Don't forget who else is on your Facebook

In your haste to boost your "friends" tally, you may not have taken notice of who you have added to your Facebook. But beware, things may get in your face if you don't get a handle of your FB network.

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Death to social networking
Fake Bill Gates on Facebook

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At least Baidu is honest about it

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Balls to you

Jaime Pressly shows just how clean balls can get with the Axe Detailer (that's man for "shower pouf") in the Funny or Die video/Axe viral ad.



Related post:
Who says men are irrelevant?

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Can you hear me?

A man in his late sixties suspects that his wife is going deaf, so he decides to test her hearing. He stands on the opposite side of the living room from her and asks: "Can you hear me?"
No answer.
He moves halfway across the room toward her and asks: "Can you hear me now?"
No answer.
He moves and stands right beside her and says: "Can you hear me now?"
She replies: "For the third time, yes!"

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Creative censorship

Related post:
Porn comedies

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Porn comedies

No, I'm not going to do you a favour by providing quick links to porn flicks on the Web. But if you're an avid movie fan, you should find the titles of these suggested porn comedies familiar.

Jurassic Fuck
Bend-Her
Bright Tights, Big Titties
Forest Hump
Interview with a Vagina
The Cock (from The Rock - about a penis on the loose)
Fuck Club
Beauty & the Breast
Pornomon: The First Movie

Can you think of anything else?

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How cold do you want your beer to be?

Try this...

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Thank god you're a man!
Quit drinking!
Beer makes women beautiful

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Is sex on your mind?

A man goes to a psychoanalyst. The analyst gets out a stack of cards containing ink blots, shows them to the man one at a time, and asks him to say what the ink blots remind him of. The man looks at the first ink blot and says, "Sex." Then he looks at the second ink blot and says, "Sex" again. In fact, he goes through the whole stack of images, saying the word "sex" in response to every one.

The psychiatrist looks concerned and says, "I don't wish to worry you, but you seem to have sex on the mind."

The man looks surprised, and answers, "I can't believe you just said that - you are the one with all the dirty pictures."

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Did you hear?

... about the U.S. Mint employees who went on strike to make less money?
... about a nuclear scientist who swallowed uranium and get atomic ache?
... about the girl who had a date with an expert on King Tut? Nine months later she became a mummy.
... about the boy and girl vampires who couldn't get married? No. What happened? Their love is in vein.

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New technology for brain scan

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New product from Adobe

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Pets have it better than their owners

Don't believe it? Check out some of the electronic gadgets that the animals don't have to pay for themselves:

1. BowLingual Dog Bark Translator
The BowLingual, from Japanese firm Takara, uses voiceprints to determine what your dog is trying to tell you. Simply attach the translator's microphone to the dog collar and it will transmit the dog barks to a processor that analyses the sounds and determines which of the six emotional states the dog is in. The translator then comes up with the best match from about 200 possibilities in its database and displays it on the device's screen.

2. Litter-Robot
This is essentially a cat litter, albeit a rather expensive one, that senses when your cat has done its stuff. It then clears away the soiled portion of the litter tray by dumping it into a plastic bag at the bottom of the machine.

3. Portable Extractor
You can also have the pleasure of removing cat pee with the Portable Extractor, which uses backlight LEDs to find urine stains.

4. Zoombak Advanced A-GPS Dog Locator
This GPS device can track the whereabouts of your dog and send e-mails to you if it strays outside defined parameters.

5. Komfort Pets Carrier
When the weather is hot, your pet dog might not want to move (or be moved) about unless the mode of transport comes with its preferred temperature setting.

6. Snif Tag
The weather is one thing. But if your dog has it too good, you've gotta worry if it's getting lazy. With the Snif Tag, you can see if your best friend is getting enough exercise (not by pushing its luck, of course). The product incorporates a three-axis accelerometer and motion sensor software, and uploads data such as how much time your dog spends walking, running and sleeping via an Ethernet connection to your PC.

7. Jog A Dog
And if you're really convinced your dog is putting on weight, get the Jog A Dog, a treadmill that forces the canine to work out on an 11-degree incline.

8. QuickFinder Deluxe
All that workout comes to naught if your pet is not properly groomed. For this purpose, the QuickFinder Deluxe might come in handy. The device uses a sensor to detect heat from blood vessels, allowing you to tell when it is safe to clip your pet's nails.

9. Petporte
What do you do when you realise that you have been feeding your neighbour's cats day after day? To prevent trespasssing, get the Petporte, which uses an RF IC embedded in your pet to grant access to authorised individuals.

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The sound of images

If only Steven Spielberg had the Photosounder software back in 1977, his immensely boring movie could have a more interesting title: "Close Encounters of the JPG Kind".

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How to protest effectively

Here in Hong Kong, there seems to be some kind of protest every other week. Some 30 taxis, for instance, will stage a slow-drive protest in Kwun Tong over claims of faulty Sinopec LPG fuel. On New Year's Day, thousands of pro-democracy protesters marched to the Central Liaison Office, but the supposedly peaceful demonstration turned ugly when violent scuffles broke out in the end. Two days later, dozens of demonstrators marched from Tai Kok Tsui to Mong Kok to protest against the funding for the HK$67 billion Guangzhou-Shenzhen-Hong Kong Express Rail Link.

Such protests are rare in Singapore, although protesters from both cities can take the cue from the gay man in the picture on the right to get their message across effectively.

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Another rip-off

Apparently, Chrissie Chau Sau-na (周秀娜) has made "teen model" the most popular new term in Hong Kong last year, according to a poll by City University.



Related post:
What a rip off!

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Gropetrotters at Bitch Countdown

The video clip depicting a young girl being groped by a few men at the Siloso Beach Countdown on 31 December 2009 in Singapore has been removed from YouTube. But judging from the still images, the "victim" seemed to enjoy the groping... ahem, grouping. Maybe she should have worn something else to the party.






Technorati Tags: Sentosa Singapore Siloso Beach countdown party groper YouTube

意外监听到大陆黑社会内部的对话

改委: 油价都调了?
石油: 调完了,大哥.
改委: 有什么反映?
石油: 意见很大,骂娘的挺多,比国外贵太多了….
改委: 不是让你们找枪手造舆论吗?
石油: 找了,强调成本构成不同没有可比性,中国特色什么的,不过越描越黑,现在他们有点顶不住了,不敢说话了.
改委: 能不能说点新鲜的?我听了都烦. 以后不要找什么草包专家,更不要找”五毛”骂街.咱不差钱, 还是让那几个刀枪不入的上吧.
石油: 可他们名声太差了吧….连”自行车比汽车污染更严重”这类话也说得出口….
改委: 靠,他都不怕,你担心什么?
石油: 是,大哥.我觉得根本就多余解释, 就涨了, 你能怎么着吧,还能造反不成?!
改委: 头脑简单!不讲政治! 跟你们说了多少次了?对了, 销售稳定吗?
石油: 大哥,销售这几天一直在下滑…..
改委(暴怒): 怎么会这样?!都是精算过的,汽车保有量低时低油价,打开口子让这帮孙子使劲买,三年功夫该买的都买了,一家两三辆都有了,套牢以后咱就一路涨上去.这么大市场销售怎么会下滑?
石油: 内外差价太大了,外面的油品好,价格也比我们低2块多.最近成品油走私很火,以前贩毒倒腾军火的也改行做成品油了….
改委: 妈的,敢挡咱们的财路?把他们都给我做了!
石油: 大哥,要是几个小瘪三也就好办了,现在部队用军舰在走,我们有什么办法?
改委: 靠,部队我也管不了,我找老大说去….底下兄弟们怎么样?
石油: 兄弟们日子过得很滋润,不过情绪不太稳定..
改委: 为什么?!
石油: 兄弟们都觉得探油炼油太辛苦了,也没必要,买船运油就行了……
改委: 嘘---,小声,别让FBI听到,他们也涨价就麻烦了…..这事低调操作就行了,闷声发大财.
石油: 除了走私,还有一个原因,就是好多小白领觉得油太贵,开始”戒驾”了…
改委: 找几个抢手,多推推节油概念,多推推日本车….不信他们真能戒.
石油: 这帮孙子也不是真想戒,主要是吃不住劲了.房价学费那么高……
改委: 别说了,TMD,这帮孙子是逼我下重手啊….
石油: 大哥, 你的意思是?
改委: 这帮孙子够狠,先是把烟戒了让我损失一笔,现在又要”戒驾”?!看来,得把十年后的手段提前用上了,咱们看谁更狠?下月我找人听证一下水价….草,让他们戒！！！

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朝鲜核爆前与中方的绝密通话
应该加多少？

Technorati Tags: 改委 油价 中国大陆 黑社会 监听 对话 汽车 戒驾 听证

Hurry... the boss is coming!

Just in case you're still in partying mood...



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Designer resignation

Literally...


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