But I wonder, how much will it cost?
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Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Good question!
A group of cub scouts visiting the Cincinnati FBI office stopped to view pictures of the Ten Most Wanted Men in the United States. One cub pointed to a picture and asked if that really was the photograph of the wanted person. The FBI man assured him that it was. "Then why," asked the boy, "didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Technorati Tags: scouts FBI wanted man photograph jokes
Technorati Tags: scouts FBI wanted man photograph jokes
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Miscommunication?
An American tourist in a Madrid restaurant wanted to order steak and mushrooms. He spoke no Spanish; the waiter knew no English.
The diner drew a picture of a mushroom and a cow. The waiter brought him an umbrella and a ticket to the bullfight.
Related post:
Learn English in five minutes
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The diner drew a picture of a mushroom and a cow. The waiter brought him an umbrella and a ticket to the bullfight.
Related post:
Learn English in five minutes
Technorati Tags: American tourist Madrid restaurant Spanish English communication
Friday, March 19, 2010
What a chore!
I'm just curious. Who does housework in her knickers?
Technorati Tags: Vogue Damaris Justin Anderson knickers sexy chore lingerie designer
Technorati Tags: Vogue Damaris Justin Anderson knickers sexy chore lingerie designer
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
That's what I call service
This is why people come to Hong Kong to buy mobile phones.
Technorati Tags: Hong Kong mobile phones service funny video
Technorati Tags: Hong Kong mobile phones service funny video
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Heaven & Hell (political version)
While walking down the street one day an MP is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the MP.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity..."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the MP.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the MP realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning... Today, you voted."
Technorati Tags: MP politician heaven hell vote campaign devil St. Peter
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the MP.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity..."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the MP.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the MP realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning... Today, you voted."
Technorati Tags: MP politician heaven hell vote campaign devil St. Peter
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Monday, March 08, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
New Singapore national pledge
We, the residents of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people; regardless of race, language, religion and nationality, to build a democratic society, based on depressed wages and income inequality, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our ministers, whose salaries are pegged only to GDP growth.
Technorati Tags: Singapore national pledge ministers parody
Technorati Tags: Singapore national pledge ministers parody
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