Election Strategies 2011

On top of the strategies I previously proposed for the 2006 election and election tips for Singaporeans, here are some other things the opposition should do for the upcoming election:

1. Engage the people in issues, not the PAP. The Pappies will try to sidestep the issues and get LKY (or whoever) to badmouth opposition candidates in an attempt to destroy them. Do not stoop to their level and fall into their trap. Making snide remarks in retaliation may help you to score political points, but if the litigious LKY gets on your back, you may have to pay a heavy political price.

2. Draw up a scorecard illustrating the promises made by the PAP that were delivered/not delivered since the last election. Print lots of these and use them as campaign flyers, posters, etc. If printing cost is a concern, convert the material into digital file (PDF, ppt, Word, jpeg - whichever suits your purpose) and make it available for download. Put it on Facebook, blogs, forums, etc. But don't just end there. State how the opposition can (or plan to) help and what the people can do to hold the PAP accountable.

3. Have 3-corner fights in weak single-seat wards. Forget about alliance. It's not gonna happen. Having three or more opposition candidates to contest a ward not only serves to spread the votes thin, but through a freak result, may end up sending an opposition candidate into parliament. This alone is enough cause for concern that the ruling party may have to deploy additional resources to defend the incumbent. The opposition can stretch the PAP's resources further by burning the backyard of key appointment holders (i.e. ministers) - see previous post on 2006 election strategies.

4. WP's Low Thia Khiang should step out of his comfort zone and lead a GRC.

5. SDP should sacrifice itself and form a suicidal team to challenge the PM in his ward. Bitter pill? If you really want to serve the people, swallow it.

Related stuff:
Will the wind of change finally blow our way?

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It's (fill in the blank)

Choose the right profession if you want to have a lot of spare time.


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Something's not quite right

This is the name of a real company in Sheung Wan, Hong Kong. Use them at your own risk. Imagine this conversation going on at the company's premises...



Client: This is the wrong design!
Art Director: Yes, it is.
Client: But it IS the wrong design!!
Art Director: So what's the problem?

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黏黏有鱼

More than 50 animal rights groups in China have urged the state broadcaster not to air a performance involving synchronised swimming by goldfish to celebrate the conclusion of the Lunar New Year festivities.



How come human rights groups do not protest when the magic trick involves human beings, like sawing a woman in half?

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A wonderful pet

It's the year of the Rabbit, but several organisations have already come forward to advise people from getting rabbits as pets. Here's another suggestion of a wonderful pet you may already own.

NAME: Expecteria Trouserius (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-species.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, resulting in an incurable disease and consequent death.

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

MILKING THE SNAKE: Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the skill of the milker and the last time the snake attacked. Once milked the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and treated with the right respect will make a wonderful pet.

Related stuff:
Pets have it better than their owners
Would you do this to your pet?

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For the love of Google

You may now Google the bride, but I bet you haven't tried these other Google services.










If they have all gone offline, you can always print and submit this query. Be patient though, it will probably take a while.


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Coincidence or a touch of Photoshop?

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Different versions of Titanic

So, they're re-releasing Titanic in 3D? While you wait for that to happen in 2012, here are some other unofficial versions of the disaster movie.

Friend version: I want to jump... anybody else wants to jump?
Leadership version: I jump... all of you jump after me.
Follower version: We will jump after you jump.
Coward version: You jump... tell me if it is ok... then I jump
Calculative version: I've already jump last time... now it is your turn to jump.
Commercial version: You should jump because all celebrities and famous people jump.
Programmer version: IF (you.jump()) THEN (I.jump())
Complicated version: If you jump then I jump that means if You don't jump I might still jump.
Doubtful version: You jump.... are you sure you want to jump? ... no kidding? ...promise?
Gambler version: We'll throw a coin if it is head I jump...

Related stuff:
10 reasons why the Titanic was actually a derivative
You jump, I also jump

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